Okay. I'm sorry, but I needed to post this because everyone loves to laugh and there wasn't much funny vusiness anywhere else.

My dad got this in a forwarded email, but this drunk needs some major help. I thought it was funny- if you don't like watching peeps make fools of themselves in public don't bother.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CKeooubslwk

anyone laugh?

How about now?



Did I mention that these are REAL?

"Dispatcher : 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner.
Dispatcher: Do you have an address?
Caller: No, I have on a blouse and slacks, why?


Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller : Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham and cheese sandwich ..
Dispatcher : Excuse me?
Caller : I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen table and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had taken a bite out of it.
Dispatcher : Was anything else taken?
Caller : No, but this has happened to me before and I'm sick and tired of it!


Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency?
Caller: I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an eleven on it.
Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.
Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one
Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.
Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I'm not stupid.

My Personal Favorite!!!
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What's the nature of your emergency?
Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart
Dispatcher: Is this her first child?
Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!

And the winner is.............

Dispatcher: 9-1-1
Caller: Yeah, I'm having trouble breathing. I'm all out of breath. Darn...I think I'm going to pass out.
Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?
Caller: I'm at a pay phone. North and Foster.
Dispatcher: Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?
Caller: No
Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing?
Caller: Running from the Police. "

Who laughed?

Very nice. I laughed a lot.


THIS IS AN ACTUAL CONVERSATION BETWEEN AMERICANS AND CANADIANS!

Americans: This is an American Ship, and we request you divert your course 15 degrees south.
Canadians: We suggest that you divert your own course 15 degrees north.
Americans: If you would all like to make it home, we suggest you divert YOUR course 15 degrees south.
Canadians: And we still say that you should divert YOUR course 15 degrees north.
Americans: This is the second largest ship in America. We have Destroyers, Air Ships, Battle ships, and numerous other back ups to insure this ships survival. WE WILL NOT HESITATE TO REMOVE YOU FROM OUR PATH!
Canadians: This is a Light house. It's your call.


I love that one.

Nice... I was thinking, maybe riddles should be made into a topic in games.